In this article you’ll learn how to make friends and lovers. Before getting there, we must first learn how to choose your friends! What kind of people you want to surround yourself with and why? As the saying goes, we are born without choosing our parents, but we grow choosing our friends.
How to Choose the People to Befriend?
It’s so simple. Our friends are people like US or complete US. People like people who are like them or just how they would like to be… “NLP Masters” use this knowledge to better communicate with patients and/or people around them.
This means that either way it’s about us and not them. So could it be that making friends is just a way to hide our loneliness? Could it be that after all we are lonely creatures?
Let’s go deeper. Are we trying to hide and get away from loneliness? The thing is we’ve been taught not to love being alone, to make friends and to love them more than us.
Looking at it from the individual stand point, we make friends to get out of loneliness.
Why Make Friends and Lovers?
Simply by asking “why?” to every desire that we have we’ll get to the conclusion that we want to satisfy our ego! Here’s the sensitive part, some people, mostly sages, monks, and religious people “fight” their ego, or I should rather say don’t follow their ego, yet if we again ask the question “why” It comes to the same answer, to satisfy themselves! The difference is that their ego is much easier to satisfy. And not like mine (to conquer the planet earth). The point is, as long as we’re doing it for our ego we’re doing it for ourselves.
So Why Do We Love?
Love is the most misused, abused and raped word in the history of mankind. I’ll definitely talk about it a lot in other blogs. Now let’s see how to make lovers!
Most of us look for their “love” from a very young age. The idea of finding a “true love” is injected from the moment we’re born. Most of the movies, stories and legends are based around this topic.
By time we create and develop our own image of what our future soul-mate will be like, and we start looking those properties in the people we meet. We wait for that person to save us from our loneliness and share our lives with. What we don’t notice is that we’re most likely following an illusion just to hide our loneliness. The illusion of someone living for us and helping us, not necessarily materially or physically, I mean just making us feel better is helping.
The moment we find someone who has couple of the qualities that we’re looking for, we instantly feel he/she is the one. Mostly we’re looking for an escape from ourselves in the other person. Some people find this escape in things, hobbies or goals and dreams. They all remain the same, just an escape routes from ourselves. I’m not trying to put the emotion of love down, nor the activities and the dreams that you have. I’m saying what’s going on in general.
One might say I’m doing it for you and not for me! This sounds like an unselfish motive, yet if we ask the simple question “why”? The answer will most probably be “because it makes me feel good”, or better, or awesome or whatever. Be it otherwise they would not be friends, just like that guy who you don’t like.
How to Make Friends?
Accepting loneliness and actually enjoying it is living life. I’m not saying don’t make friends or don’t love or anything of that sort. But accepting loneliness and then loving will give that love a different meaning, it won’t be for the sake of escaping or hiding, nor will it be satisfying your ego and desires, but will be living life. I lied, after accepting loneliness you cannot accept to be the hideout of someone else.
This might look like a sad or dark article, yet it’s just the truth of how we are. It’s why we always hear them saying “surround yourself with people who love and care for you”, the reason why we fall in love, and the reason why we desire things and have ambitions. So are we lonely creatures or are we hungry for being social. The answer should be clear by now. They’re the same, one leads to the other and leads and creates a never ending cycle of life experience.